Vacuosity

Far, far away

Julia and I have always kicked around the idea of moving away; far away. This weekend was the first time that we talked about it seriously.

There are so many places that I've never been. Do you know that I have never been west of Windsor, in Canada, at least that I know of? That's pathetic! I'm 28 years old and I've barely been out of my own province. I've never seen the Rockies, the Grand Canyon, or Old Faithful. I've never been in the Arctic circle, hell, I've never been north of the tree line. If I ever saw the statue of Liberty, I don't remember it, and I have yet to visit Disneyland or Disneyworld.

I've been on a plane only three times in my life. I've never seen a whale or a dolphin in its natural habitat. And I haven't even started on real travelling, as in Europe, Africa, Australia, and every other continent I've never been to. I want to climb Mt. Everest. I want to visit the Louvre. I want to box a kangaroo. I want to eat chinese food, that is, food from China.

I can't, at least not right now. But I can move. And we may.

posted by David @ 11:11 p.m. 1 comments

Pphhhfff

The thing about blogging is that it's all well and good for me to go and post the events of my life, my innermost thoughts and personal details for all to see. In the words of good old Bobby Brown "that's my perogative". But the exhibitionism has to stop when it gets to the point of encroaching upon the privacy of others.

I can tell you, though, if that weren't the case, I'd have a few choice words about someone right now.

posted by David @ 11:32 p.m. 0 comments

Hum

I like the music they use in TV car commercials.

posted by David @ 8:54 a.m. 0 comments

We have liftoff

Finally, the day that has always seemed so far away, arrived yesterday. We launched the brand. The biggest event in Foresters' history was yesterday's launch event. It was great and it came off without a hitch. My congratulations to Laury (the event was her baby), Lyn (the ultimate decision maker) , Beth, Janet, Sandra, Mihaela and the whole rest of the team that pulled the whole thing together. It was awesome.

For more details on the new brand, check out the updated web site: www.foresters.biz; or for an eyeful of Yield Integrated's beautiful work interpreting the brand into our new collateral visit: here.



Today, a couple of young guys in the garage asked me to give them a boost. Their old Volkswagan has seen better days. I said sure, and pulled in beside them. They had cables at the ready. I popped my hood, and since they seemed eager to do it themselves, I let them go to work. That is, until I noticed one of them putting the red on black and vice versa. It doesn't matter of course as long as you've got live running to live, and ground to ground, but they had one end reversed. I took them off and switched them around. It still wouldn't start. They spoke to each other in chinese, so I had no idea what they were saying, but they were excited and anxious. Before I knew it, one guy had pulled the clamps off again and reversed them once more.

"I don't think, uuh...wait!" I tried to stop him, but he clamped on. After a second, the handles begin shooting sparks. We're all standing there, surprised and disbelieving. A second more, and the plastic handles burst into flames. I ran around and shut my engine off, but of course, the sparks kept going. The plastic around the whole cable stretching between the two batteries bubbled and melted. I don't pretend to know the intimate details of auto mechanics, but I do know: fire + engine + gasoline = not good. Visons of every movie car explosion I've ever seen flashed through my mind.

The handles were still on fire, so I couldn't grab them. I kicked one off, then the other. One guy beat the flames out on the handles on their car with a rag. The garage was filled with thick grey smoke. I felt all jittery from adrenalin. It had us all freaked out.

We tried my cables next. I did the clamping this time; red on red, black on black. It still wouldn't work. I figured it wasn't the battery anyway since when we tested the headlights, they were nice and bright. Go figure.

posted by David @ 11:05 p.m. 0 comments

Porcelain decadence

They have recently begun stocking the bathrooms at my work with tissue paper toilet seat covers.

I wasn't sure at first what I thought of this, but I've decided I like it. I'm on board (and sitting, of course). I have always thought that the idea of a public toilet was a little barbaric, anyway. I don't mind urinals (although, how arrogant and lazy do you have to be to not flush? You reach up, pull the little handle. Come on, people!) but that's a no-contact operation. I'm okay with that.

Public toilets are us making a decision as a society to share intimate contact while at one of our least attractive moments. You might as well be bum to bum.

This from a culture where natural body odour is apalling, it's impolite to touch another person's candy when sharing, and we needed "clean top" toothpaste tubes to satisfy a persnickety public. And while we're talking about irony, there are no toilet seat covers available at Indigo, where you can sit on a public toilet all you like; you just can't read a book while you do it.

posted by David @ 11:15 p.m. 0 comments

The grind
I was at work today until almost 11:30. It's awful because there's always a certain amount of work you have to do before you can go home; but as it gets later, your productivity wanes. I find that I can be there for hours and not really get anything done. I hate that.



I was thinking more about dreams and dreaming today. I remember my brother James used to tell me that he doesn't dream. Period. I always thought this was ridiculous because, one, of course he dreams. And two, he just thought it was cool to say that he doesn't. "I'm too cool to dream." Incidentally, he now admits to having the odd dream now and then, though he still says he usually can't remember a thing about them.

posted by David @ 11:34 p.m. 0 comments

Dare to dream

I love dreams. They're so cool. I dream all the time, even when I'm not asleep. Really, all I have to do is close my eyes, and drift into a near-sleep state, though still awake and conscious, and a flurry of images parades before my eyes. Most of it is too fast and too complex to make any sense at all. And even when there is some coherent thought or storyline, I can rarely retain it.

Still, I enjoy it. I can lie down and enjoy 15 minutes of imagery and get up feeling peaceful, like I undertood something then, and it's not important that I don't remember now.

I've never been able to master lucid dreaming, the ability to manipulate the happenings and circumstances dreamside at will. Though, I sometimes wonder what I'd do with the skill if I had it. There's only so many of your friends you can look at naked. And doesn't that sort of remove from the dream an element of its appeal: the unexpected turn of events?

What's really weird is being somewhere public and starting to dream. I dreamt strange dreams in a chair in the hospital lobby the day Jaimeson was born. I've been in lots of meetings, seminars, and assemblies and half-dozed off. Right away I start to dream, sometimes even when my eyes are open. Think about that: experiencing two completely realized sets of visuals at once. I've often wondered if I were narcoleptic, except for the fact that it only happens when I'm over-tired or just plain bored.

The most intense time that this has happened was in October when I was driving up to my hiking trip. I absolutely couldn't close my eyes, despite the fact that I desperately wanted to, because I was flying down the highway at 2 am, doing about 170 kph. It was utterly stupid, I know. I think about it now with a kind of disbelief. My mind refused to stay awake, but I wouldn't let my body go to sleep. What ended up happening was a kind of stasis somewhere in between. I remember seeing the road, my headlights, the blur of trees on either side, yet at the same time and in full visual representation, experiencing complete, storied dreams. It was absulutely bizarre.

It certainly helped pass the time, though.

All I can say is that I love the whole dream deal. It's endlessly fascinating to me. I truly believe that it's a way to uncover hidden wisdom, enjoy fantasies, and decipher meaning from the day's events. I know that they are an imperative function of the mind that we rely on for our sanity.

With that said, I'm off to bed; to sleep, and perchance, to dream.

posted by David @ 10:26 p.m. 1 comments

Lost, it's all lost

I just realized that my most recent post is missing...not sure what happened.



"I know what it felt like when you first got married," says Jordan to me, out of nowhere. "You, you were embarassed. And everyone else was kind of anxious."

"That's pretty accurate," I say. "Though, self-conscious might be a better word." And I was. How could I not be conscious of everyone's anxiety, as well as the judgements being made about a young couple with the cards stacked against them? (I distinctly remember being told by a close family member: "There's no way in hell this marriage is going to work.")

We talked about that briefly over our Tim Hortons sandwiches. I try not to question too much where those little insights come from. I don't want to draw attention to them; I try to just let him be. I marvel silently (and sometimes no-so-silently). I wish I had viewing rights to that mind of his. I'd love to witness the process that leads up the hilarious, incredulous things that he unleashes at that unexpected moment.



I was really sick yesterday. My lost post said that in the morning my feelings toward my stomach were something akin to how you might feel about your best friend if the two of you were having a fight. We both wanted to make up, we just needed something to break the ice.

As it turns out, it was worse than that. I couldn't eat much all day for fear of a full-scale rebellion. Unfortunately, I couldn't leave work either. In fact, despite the fact that I was working hard to go home early, I was there until about a quarter to eight.

When I came home, I had to lie down. I had the chills, and everything ached; even my teeth. I hate that flu feeling where your muscles are tired even when you're just lying there. I don't get sick often, but when I do, I can't stand it.

posted by David @ 11:00 p.m. 0 comments

Size doesn't matter

Julia and I have some friends, a couple, and they are quite overweight. There's no debating the issue; they are without a doubt the largest people I know personally. I'm not a good judge of weight, but I'm sure each of them is over 300 lbs.

When I first met them, all I could think about was "How can they possibly be that big?" I was amazed.

We went to McDonald's a short time later and I could not believe what they ordered. She had a Big Mac combo, super-sized everything, and a six-piece order of nuggets. I don't even know what he got. "No wonder!", I muttered to myself. I thought too, that their entire life must revolve around food. I was disgusted and a little bit angry about it.

It wasn't long, though, before I came to realize that this couple, was a happy, fun-loving, active pair; far more active, in fact, than most couples I know. For them food was one of the many pleasurable things about life that they enjoy. Being large is a choice for them, one that they are comfortable with, and demonstrate it unabashedly. While it's not a choice I would make, I have to respect it. I even kind of admire it.

posted by David @ 10:37 p.m. 0 comments

Huh

After 4 weeks of trying to figure out how to hang large format signage from our lobby ceiling, attempting to source banner poles, hassling every supplier I could think of, being willing to pay hundreds of dollars, and coming up empty-handed, I finally went to Home Depot and built banner poles out of plumbing supplies for about $18.

posted by David @ 8:59 p.m. 1 comments

of Love and Hate

Tonight I became reacquainted with my awe of Leonard Cohen.

I asked my father,
I said, "Father change my name."
The one I'm using now it's covered up
with fear and filth and cowardice and shame.

He said, "I locked you in this body,
I meant it as a kind of trial.
You can use it for a weapon,
or to make some woman smile."

"Then let me start again," I cried,
"please let me start again,
I want a face that's fair this time,
I want a spirit that is calm."

posted by David @ 11:29 p.m. 0 comments

Ugh

It's Saturday. I shouldn't be working, but we're two weeks away from Brand launch. I have so much work to do it makes me feel sick when I think about it. I have been working from the time I get up to the time that I sleep. There just aren't enough hours.

I think people appreciate the workload I'm carrying. Lyn even came by to thank me yesterday for how hard I've been working. But it kind of doesn't help; it doesn't change the amount of things I'm responsible for. People line up to talk to me; sometimes as many as three at a time, everyone wanting something, everyone needing attention. It's pretty bad when the CEO gives you an encouraging pat on the back, and wants to chat about how exciting it all is, and I can't wait for the conversation to be over so that I can get back to what I was doing.

And what I was doing was staring up at the ceiling of our 3-story lobby, trying to figure out a way to hang some banners. People stare at me because I've been doing that a lot lately, walking around, gazing pensively at the lobby, trying to get a feel where and how this large format signage would look best.

I'm getting used to that though. A couple of nights ago, I was mucking about in our condo's courtyard, in the pouring rain, digging up rocks (see below).

I'm fully aware that it may not be just because people don't understand that they think I'm crazy. It might be true.

posted by David @ 9:14 a.m. 0 comments

Inspiration for Creatives

Challenge: take a team vision that went over like a lead balloon and give it a graphic 'treatment' to aid in its adoption.

Picture this...the presentation opens on a scene of a golden sunset, the view is from above the clouds. Ambient music plays. The words fade in:

"We dream.

[next image: a building's foundation]
In dreaming we lay the foundation for what will be.

In foundation there is possibility. From possibility comes desire and from desire, success.
[various stone-related imagery]

Every success can be deconstructed. A house is nothing more than the parts from which it is built; brick on brick, stone on stone. In each of those stones is potential; the potential to be the beginning of something grand. [single stone]

We dream. And this is how."

The succinct vision "Communication • Commitment • Daily", is superimposed over three stones on a white background.
[music fades]

I didn't write the vision, just the copy for the presentation. The stones are a nice theme since they carry through to a number of other applications. We plan to have the vision printed onto actual stones and hand them out to each member of the team, as well as use them as decoration throughout the department.

posted by David @ 12:00 a.m. 0 comments

No Boundaries

Just watched No Boundaries, a show I wanted badly to participate in. I'm not a fan of reality shows, but getting to participate is completely different. I applied last year when then audition call went out. They never called back.

I give the contestants full credit; it looks tough. But not too much tougher than the trips my brother and I have taken. It's long though, and that's exhausting both mentally and physically. The thing is, that it's like my dream vacation, and it's all paid for. I should have been there. It still smarts.

Also, I think my old friend Jordan Kadlec, dated Ina when we were 14. Weird.

posted by David @ 11:21 p.m. 0 comments

Just like ice, Vanilla that is

Well, I have to say, I am sick to death of every freaking company out there and their utterly inept attempts at being "with it".

"Oooh, look how cool we are. Do you see our cavalier disregard for convention? We don't capitalize. We don't punctuate. Aren't we cool?" Yeah, that didn't come from a focus group.

Enough already. It's embarrasing.

posted by David @ 10:54 p.m. 0 comments

Another one bites the dust

Yesterday, I had a conversation with a friend who is struggling with a chronic condition. What she's got can't be cured by modern medicine, nor is there even a solid scientific understanding of it. But it's real, and each day it bothers her more and more as it goes unchecked. I hung my head as I listened to her story, for she has an undeniable case of the writing bug.

This malady has many manifestations. It's initial stages occur with a nagging itch and general discomfort. It often progresses to unpredictable behavior and isolation. Sleep patterns are disrupted. The illness can lead to emotional instability, and volatility. In advanced stages there are feverish periods and occasional elation.

If someone you know is experiencing this condition, please treat them with understanding and compassion. It's beyond their control.

posted by David @ 9:52 p.m. 0 comments

Yowza

I'm eating spicy chicken. When you order spicy chicken, you can reasonably expect it to be a tad piquant, maybe a little zesty...zingy even.

But you do not expect the burning fires of hell in a styrofoam container.

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire.

posted by David @ 12:12 p.m. 0 comments

Finger Tom

Just remember, you heard it here first.

posted by David @ 10:10 p.m. 0 comments

Edit

I have been thinking about Wade, a guy who plays ball with us occasionally. He announced to the group that yesterday marked his retirement from sports. He is about to have surgery on his retina and will be restricted from contact sports, for pretty much forever, due to the risk of it detaching.

He's a young guy, maybe 21-22. And all I can think is how harsh that is. Not only can he not play, but it has to be a conscious decision, a choice that I would always war with myself over. For the rest of his life, he has to force himself to not participate in any vigorous activity. That's awful.

And I was mourning the next few weeks.

posted by David @ 7:24 p.m. 0 comments

Ouch

Did I mention that I destroyed my ankle again?

Yesterday, playing basketball, I rolled over on it again. It was just healed! Now I'm out of commission again for the next 6-8 weeks.

I'm not happy about that.

posted by David @ 10:07 a.m. 0 comments

And the winner is...

I got some great news today. A logo I designed took Gold in its category at the Astrid Awards. And one of Lydia's logos took bronze honours in the same category.

Back in January my department gathered up some of its memorable work from 2001 and submitted it to the Astrid as well as the Gold Quill awards. Never having submitted to any awards programs before, I didn't expect much. I really didn't think about it, expect for the occasional "what if" daydream and "wouldn't it be nice" fantasy. I truly didn't expect to win.

But we got the call today and the official announcement is next week. It's funny, Lyn Whitham, my original VP, was far more excited than I was. I really don't know yet whether it's a big deal at all, but other people seem to think so. I got all kinds of congratulatory calls and emails, and Lyn called our Senior VP and was informing all of Senior Management. It was a bit unnerving. There were entrants from around the world, including, Japan, Brazil, Denmark, Belgium, and South Africa. That freaks me out.

When the official "we won" email went out, I asked that Lydia and I not be named individually, but that it be regarded as a win for the team. This event just confirms for me that design, truly good design, is a collaborative effort. I know that that logo was only as good as it was because I was able to solicit input and advice form my teammates, Marianne and Lydia.

We had a brainstorming session earlier this week about a tough project. It went really, really well. We all came away from the table inspired and confident that our approach to this design challenge would be a success. That's what I love about design and about teamwork.

A couple of weeks ago I was drawing a blank on a teaser campaign leading up to our Brand Launch. I asked Julia for ideas, and while the ideas I got weren't really appropriate for this project, I was able to springboard from her ideas and land on something that really suited.

The morals of today's show are: Never discount someone as a potential source of ideas, and never be too proud to listen to criticism and suggestions.

posted by David @ 11:41 p.m. 0 comments

Short Books

Yesterday, Dave Paige, who runs a literacy program at Frontier College, and helped establish our reading circle, came back with his cameraman to film our little group. They are making a video about the reading circle program and wanted to use us as an example of a corporate partnership. I was happy to experience my fifteen minutes as I read aloud to the entire group. For those of you who don't know it, each week about ten of us from the IOF go over to our local public school to read with a small group of children.

It's both satisfying and disturbing. I truly believe that it has a positive effect on these kids, that they are developing their reading skills and, more important, growing a keen interest in books and reading. But it's worrysome, too, to witness the state of our public schools. These kids are all in grade one. They are neither the best, nor the worst readers, merely the ones thought most likely to benefit from such a program. And most of them can't read! Some of them at all, while others struggle, and only a few can read well. But these kids are not deficient in any way, they are bright and attentive; they simply haven't been taught.

It reminds me of my first parent/teacher interview with Jordan's Kindergarten teacher when she informed me that he was doing very well and knew all of his letters. I had looked at her sideways and asked, very slowly, in disbelief: "You do know he can read, don't you?" The look of surprise on her face was all the answer I needed to pull him from the class at Christmas and send him to a Montesorri school. It's got its own issues too, but at least the work Jordan's Senior Prep (aka Sr. Kindy Garden) class is doing now is challenging and stimulating. It compares roughly to grade two in a public school.

I'm not going to rant about social causes, or try to rally the public or the government to bandage the deplorable public education system. I don't think that's the answer. What we need is an attitude of personal responsibility from both teachers and especially parents so they commit themselves to the education of their children. Because, you know what? It's not someone else's job.

That's partly the reason that I expect Jordan will be going here next year. It's not fancy, it's not private, but the teachers care, and parents are intimately involved with their own (and other's) children's instruction.

As they should be.

posted by David @ 9:58 p.m. 0 comments

Due Process

How many processes does one little design department need? Seriously.

Right now I am responsible for revising our invoice payment process, ensuring we adhere to the corporate procurement process, and implementing the brand governance process. There are more process issues to come.

This is what a corporate structure does. This is what stifles creativity, originality, and innovation. Or worse, tries to define a process for achieving creativity, originality, and innovation.

I'm not talking about the age-old prejudice of designers against the suits; that they are the enemy and they just don't "get it". Neither am I asking for liberties that render a creative studio unaccountable for its own business value. I am talking about a corporation so buried in its own bureaucracy that it is literally prevented it from fulfilling its purpose. It's not the people that don't get it, it's the organization.

But it's the people too. The universities are churning them out by the thousands: BAs and MBAs who leave with a vast array of knowledge, intricate understand of business processes, project management disciplines, but no real critical analysis ability. No inclination to question whether this meeting, this set of guidelines, this process is truly necessary. No, it's: strategize, plan, revise, test, iterate, test, tweek, approve, implement, monitor, data-mine, analyze....strategize. All of it to kowtow to the motivating principles of profitable enterprise: time, money, and let's not forget fear. Again, I refer not to specific individuals, but to the overriding mentality instilled in the tender minds of the naive youth. We absorb it all, and think "Yes, that is right and good."

Eventually, corporations might just hang themselves with their own red tape. C'mon, I can dream can't I?

posted by David @ 1:12 a.m. 0 comments

Grief

Fellow (and far more experienced) blogger Ariel, is enduring deeply felt grief over the death of an ex-boyfriend several years ago, when a dream brought back a flurry of memories with painful lucidity.

Reading of her distress has brought to mind a few memories of my own:

Firstly, it reminds me how amazed I am by the fact that our dream selves always seem far more insightful than our waking ones. Once I awoke in the middle of the night, after a dream about a co-worker, convinced that he was on the verge of suicide; a thought that had never occurred to me during the day. I was so bothered by this absolute belief that I was compelled to call him right then, at 4:00 AM. He never answered, but I have always felt that it was important, and perhaps, just my calling was enough.

I think of my friend Lydia, whose dreamtime counterpart grieves for a beloved pet regularly, and think that our dream selves are often the wiser and more compassionate us.

I also think about my mother. I haven't seen my mother in about 8 years. And it had been about 2 years before that time, for reasons too complicated to explain here. But, long after our estrangement was well-established, one night I just broke down. I had never been able to cry for her. For years I lived, just ignoring the circumstance, not allowing myself to feel that sadness. But then, that night, I could. I cried for all the pain, the loss, the empty hope, the unrealized potential.

Sometimes, I think we just find ourselves in the right time and place to grieve, and there's nothing you can do to hurry the trip there.

posted by David @ 10:35 p.m. 0 comments